Excerpt

Chaos does not need a watchful eye or a skillful hand to create works of beauty. Its storm is its creative impulse, which is only mystical if we choose to define it as such. There is no such thing as a permanent or entirely stable state except that of complete negation and cold. It’s no surprise that human beings, as little storms in their skin, have often chaotic and indescribable experiences of their own bodies…

On that note! When talking about gender, especially as a trans person, there is a tendency to ask questions that are somewhat misplaced. I, we, ask people whether they accept their bodies or not. Along those lines I thought of myself as a playful tinkerer, trying to trim and stuff my body in various ways until it fit into a mould I found livable. For many, this is an adequate, and therefore healthy and useful, way of thinking. But asking whether we accept our bodies does not produce answers that I can accept anymore.

Author’s Note

This zine is the first personal art project I ever completed, and while I’m still proud of it, I certainly disagree with many things that I say in it. I still think it’s worth reading and there isn’t a ton of writing about agender experience that I know of, so I hope that you enjoy it regardless of the way I have changed in the years since making it.